thoughts and another poem

sometimes I hate that I write poems. as if I have nothing better to do? as if there is catharsis in only writing a few lines of words arranged in specific order to elicit a certain feeling? sometimes I wish the feeling would just beat it; get out the door and walk away. life would be easier if you didn't feel. but it would be boring. to completely contradict myself though, feeling is the only thing that keeps me moving. my ideals and me are constructed based around being affected; by injustice, by beauty, by horror, by camaraderie, by fragmentation. so if I didn't feel I wouldn't be me, but the feeling is so strong sometimes I feel empty, therefore a lack of feeling. I am just a bizarre carousel, aren't I?

anyway, the poem...it's untitled as of yet

because I say what I am
I say less
than you know.
to say is not thinking
but living.
autumn is my
worst nostalgia
and august 
my nightmare.
when heat does not rise
these days lay down.
i have been standing three months
straight.
we are not the best,
i have no such pride.
we are the best that we know
though.
what else is there
but to know what you know
and ignore the rest?

this time, every time

i want to forget about time,
all the time,
because it brings me down,
most of the time.
that's a lot of time
(not really,
never enough.)

my watch is not time,
i am.
and so are your eyes.
in them i am lost,
and time -
oh
forget it.



this one is poem two of my new book called '(because there is no story about you, only oral histories and folk tales)'

Dear Hillary

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Shocking (not really)

Here's another book I would love to read.
The Shock Doctrine: Rise of Disaster Capitalism




From listening to the authors, Naomi Klein, interview on Alternative Radio this afternoon it seems that the book is about how neo-liberal politicians have taken advantage of different kinds of disasters (Hurricane Katrina, fall of the USSR, etc...) to implement neo-liberal policies without opposition. When the disaster area is at it's weakest, privatization and pro-corporate policy can be ushered in without protest because of recovery efforts; Klein, from what I'm hearing in her interview, seems like an incredibly smart woman and the book looks really well researched. The historical examples she makes reference to are things I need further explanation in. I guess it's time to stop talking about it and get the book.

See related article in The Nation

interior design doesn't always work

when you're overwhelmed and the things of life are in disarray, neatly making your bed does not ease the rest of the clutter.

a snippet to make hearts beat

here's an excerpt from a poem by Gary Fincke called The Sorrows

"In the pantry,
Among pickled beets and stewed tomatoes, were dark, honeyed liquids,
The vinegar and molasses sipped from tablespoons for sorrows
So regular they spoke of them as laundry to be smoothed by the great iron
Of faith which sets creases worthy of paradise."


my oh my I think I've died. those lines, to quote a fair lady, makes me knees weak

bang bang bang

Felice Brothers - Frankies Gun

heed this advice young men and women of the world

"This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, reexamine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body..."

I may try and look the part and I can try and grow a long old graybeard and write words without borders and rule but when all is said and done, Whitman always says it best.

barclay and new york and me

I was at the South Street Seaport, watching all the tourists and listening to their European tongues and I saw him standing up against a door. I debated with myself for about 5 minutes before I walked up to him and asked if I could take his picture. He kindly replied that I could and afterwards, as I was thanking him for the photo, we started talking. We talked for 45 minutes about his life and my life and what he has learned over his 84 years on earth. Being filled with his life made me feel not like I was on the top of the world looking around at everyone else but that I was the world itself, holding everyone on it inside of me. The wisdom I was imparted with is invaluable and his story and his blue blue eyes are something I cannot forget. 

and just before Barclay's and my path crossed, I saw this on the 2 train

New Park at the Cohoes Falls

New Public Park in the area!!
as per Troy Record

"Area residents now have a new park to view the beauty of the Cohoes falls, the second largest waterfalls east of the Mississippi River.

Spanning 1,000 feet across the Mohawk River, the falls created the large backdrop to the ribbon-cutting ceremony Wednesday, officially opening the new Falls View Park which is located adjacent to the hydroelectric plant on land owned by Brookfield Renewable Power."

This is great news. I'll be very happy to visit this new park and see what they've done. A good public space with a good view is always welcome.



Hopefully they have something at the park about the Mastadon skeleton that was found under the falls in 1866. Some interesting history will really spice up space. Hopefully this new park helps Cohoes resurge through it's depressed post-industrialism and make something interesting out of the great architecture, gridded streets, and history that they have.

oh, and here's a map of how to get there on your bicycle from downtown Albany

Oil Goes Up Up Up

Oil rose $6/barrel yesterday. Keep going up! We're close to the tipping point where people can't afford to drive anymore and have to take public transport; the only way people will realize that cars are not the only option in the future of transportation is when they can't afford to drive their bohemoths anymore.

Last night I was in Carland (Clifton Park center) and me and Jim were playing frisbee in the parking lot (because what other public space do we have?) and it was really enjoyable to watch the reactions of the people in cars who had no idea what to do with people moving around, on foot, outside of their car.

Eventhough I bought gasoline for $3.68/gallon I'm still disappointed that it's below $4. Although, maybe this will give local and regional transportation agencies time to prepare for the huge influx of riders when gasoline goes back up. I really just hope that everyone doesn't forget that this price slump is temporary and we need to figure out a viable way to get around other than using automobiles at single occupancy.

I want this book

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/07/garden/07books.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

It's about the authors personal search for authenticity. That very idea has been rolling around my head for a few years now. How am I authentic? Am I authentic? What does that even mean and does it matter? Not that I think I will be satiated after I read this book but it will be an interesting insight to what someone else thinks about the subject.

related/unrelatedly, last night some hip girl acosted me in my car. since I can't defend myself I willfully submitted...good choice.

Community and The Vine

"The purpose of The Vine is to rethink some of the underlying principles about the nature of community...Within each of us is an innate desire for a sense of connectedness - relationship - community. The places we create will either enhance or diminish this sense of community...The Vine is a growing network of creative people-architects, builders, planners, anthropologists, philosophers, artists, visonaries- innovative thinkers who gather to examine the nature of community and explore ways to change it for the better"

www.thevineconference.com

I love this

More About People
by Ogden Nash

When people aren't asking questions
They're making suggestions
And when they're not doing one of those
They're either looking over your shoulder or stepping on your toes
And then as if that weren't enough to annoy you
They employ you.
Anybody at leisure
Incurs everybody's displeasure.
It seems to be very irking
To people at work to see other people not working,
So they tell you that work is wonderful medicine,
Just look at Firestone and Ford and Edison,
And they lecture you till they're out of breath or something
And then if you don't succumb they starve you to death or something.
All of which results in a nasty quirk:
That if you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

bikes and discontents

so I went to the bike rescue last night.

I really need to find a bike I love.
I don't love my bike. I like it.

but that's not enough.

hot town, summer in the city

...back of my neck feeling dirty and gritty.






going to the city for the weekend! talking and crashing into strangers will be stimulation overload.


today in washington park was stimulation overload.
I laid in green grass and felt bugs on my fingers.
I climbed a tree and cut up my arms.
I kissed a cute girl.
I forgot I existed.

I do exist!

poetry morning

it's a little early for miles' bitches brew but when it's put to a poem by frank o'hara I can't help but feel like a happy drunk slipping, and then catching himself, saving my tender knees for another cut-up night.

take it or leave it

I think when I made this I liked the way it looked and what it meant. And I still like the way it looks and what it means but in every new context it means something else. Thinking about time, I imagine things been less complex in the past but really they were just as complex and intricate and I wavered in the wind then too. This stencil got washed away by the UvA maintenance crew; it's bittersweet. I would love for it to have lasted forever but being washed away is the nature of the medium. Impermanence seems to fit the words I sprayed, in them things feel complete and incomplete at the exact same time.

A Force Field of Art

Rem Koolhaas, I love you and loathe you at the exact same time.

[via Life Without Buildings]

"Koolhaas will transform an industrial complex in the Italian city for the Prada Foundation, whose director says the project’s goal is “to create a force field in which all artistic languages might converge and radiate energies that reach beyond the walls containing them into the urban context.”

This seems like a cool idea but how exactly will the structure 'radiate...into the urban context?' The reality of the architecture is that the building looks more like a military complex than an open and public space. I just wish that Koolhaas would take the people living around and outside the building into account as much as he takes into account those who will actually be using it.

Two Characters in Search of a Country Song

buying veggies

kisses across america
an afro in merriam-webster, of course
the cutest picture. ever.

real emotional trash

for once in my life, written and verbal communication are not getting the job done. is there another way that I don't know about?

(I think I know another way and I have not been succeeding)

GM Takes Huge Hit, Sale of SUVs Plummeted

It was reported today that GM suffered $15.5 billion losses over the past quarter.


"It...included $1.3 billion worth of write-offs because of a decline in the value of GMAC Financial Services' portfolio of trucks and sport utility vehicles. GM owns 49 percent of GMAC, which has suffered big losses when leases end and it tries to sell the now-unpopular vehicles at depressed prices."


GM is the U.S.' biggest car supplier and with these recent failings, Toyota has the possibility of leading the market. Considering the huge amount of money that GM had to write-off for their SUVs and trucks losing value, Toyota and other fuel-efficient car markers have a chance to use the falling GM stock as leverage to gain ground.

Even though gas prices have recently(over the past two weeks) maintained stability, bicycle use is still increasing. From a Reuters Report, per Laurence O'Sullivan: "Giant, the Taipei-based maker of international bicycle brands such as Boulder, Yukon and Iguana, is reaping the profits. The company, which produced 5.5 million bikes in 2007, is expected to pull in $1 billion in sales this year, up 10 percent.”


These different pressures being put on companies like GM makes one wonder long it will takethe American car manufacturer to start designing and manufacturing cars like these for Americans:


(Ford Fiesta, 63.6 MPG, Euro Release Only)